|Posted on 21 September, 2016 at 7:55|
Do the following word describe you, Awkward, shy, indecisive?
Or are you the opposite and over compensate for your lack of confidence to hide it from the world?
Do you often interpret passive comments by attaching more meaning to them than what they really need?
Is Pessimism Avenue a road you frequently visit in your mind?
Well how would life look by having a stronger self-confidence and a more honest sense of your own self-worth?
Here are five quick steps you can take to build your self-confidence. They are like going to the gym. Go once or twice in the month, or even now and then in the year, when you can fit it in, then don’t expect to look like some Greek Adonis God.
Muscle gets strengthen by repetition, repetition and repetition. Likewise your confidence will get stronger by the following steps being practised over and over and over.
And as a result just like your muscles that have memory cells your confidence will be locked into your way of being.
Step 1: Highlight your strengths instead of your weaknesses.
Low self-esteem is an inside job (a bit like false flag operations most recent of which being 9/11) which starts inside your own head. It is a result of what you focus on, what you think, say and feel about yourself.
Start acknowledging yourself for the things you do accomplish, journal in all the small wins you have in your day, your week, your month and I guarantee you will surprise yourself when you reflect on them at the end of the month.
Our programming and conditioning automatically have us focusing only on the mistakes we make, and with the Law of the Universe you tend to get what you think about.
Step 2: Get out of your-self preserving bubble and take some risks.
Life is full of possibilities unless you are sitting at home watching Jeremy Kyle, or have your face stuck in your smart device catching up on the salacious headlines or local gossip of Face Book.
Reframe your current thinking and see change as good, look for ways to step out of your comfort zone and get involved in something where you could win or lose.
When you can look beyond your small view of yourself and take chances all kinds of possibilities will come your way. Fail a couple of times, learn from them and then get back up again. You’ve been conditioned to believe failing is bad and so avoid trying to be knocked down, not realising every time you have been knocked down in the past and you eventually got back up you have become a little stronger as a result.
So the knock down was actually a good thing really wasn’t it? But I bet your focus was on how others perceive you after seeing you fall instead of how you have got little stronger by it.
Step 3: Change your self-talk.
If you were to Catch Yourself Thinking I bet most of the stuff you say to yourself is negative.
Imagine your best friend or close family member or loved one has made a mistake, and make a note of the tone and the words you would use in that scenario.
You would most likely be empathetic, caring and have words of encouragement...right?
BUT when you do something wrong I am willing to take the Pepsi challenge with anyone of you that your language to yourself would probably make a sailor blush, using words coming out of your mouth that you should probably be ashamed to kiss your mother with.
So whatever the bad language you are using to talk to and about yourself needs to change. Encourage yourself. Be nice to yourself. You have the choice to actually use words that empower you, instead of the opposite. (The key word here is choice)
Step 4: Raise your barrier to your critics.
Do you have a friend, parent, child, husband, wife, boss, etc. who criticizes just about everything you do?
Two words: avoid them.
You will have 2 types of people in your life.
The 1st group will criticize you and pi$$ all over your dreams because they care about you, love and want the best for you i.e. not getting hurt, not wasting your time or money (even though they may have never tried what you want to do themselves, they just heard about this from a friend of a friend of a friend, who heard it from his local plaster in the pub, and he is giving his 2 pence worth of advice on a matter he knows nothing about... like MLM businesses for example.
The 2nd type just want to pi$$ over your dreams and ambitions because they know if you go out and achieve the things you want it will prove to them they are not where they could or should be in life and hence they want to keep you on their level playing field. Stay away from critics.
Step 5: Evaluate yourself first.
If you suffer from low self-esteem you may rely way too much on the judgments and opinions of other people, how many likes you got on your social media post, never confident in and of yourself about anything you say, think or do.
The problem is those “other people” may not have your best interests at heart and their judgments may be flawed or just plain full of $hit. So start with your own evaluation first and don’t let other people’s assessment always trump yours. Let this be your guiding quote to see you through life,
"In order for you to hurt me I must first value your opinion"
If you don’t value it more than your own then it can’t hurt you.
Is any of this easy? Hell no. If it was easy, everyone would be walking around with a great sense of confidence and swagger. But also know what is easy to do is also easy not to do. So the question you will be asking yourself right now is,
Can I do it?
Of course you can. Pick out any one of the steps and start working on it until you see some progress. Do something every single day.
Listen, I am 41 and will probably live to the age of 80, so I still have another 39 years to go!! So you can see there is no need to rush, take your time but do not give up.
Then take another step and before you know it you will be King Confidence or Queen Self-reliance and won’t it feel good!
If you have people in your life or business that could benefit from this simple message then pay it forward and share it with them too so we can help the world one person at a time become confident and stop playing 2nd best to their true potential.
Shiraz from Sm3empowerment